The Nightly Show – Donald Trump’s Hip-Hop Ways – Mike Yard


ALL RIGHT. NOW THAT THE REPUBLICAN FIELD IS
SEEMINGLY COMPLETE, I THOUGHT I’D BRING ON OUR POLITICAL
EXPERT MIKE YARD TO DISCUSS TRUMP AND WHICH CANDIDATE MIGHT
HAVE THE BEST CHANCE OF WINNING THE BLACK VOTE. MIKE YARD, EVERYBODY. (CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HOW YOU DOING, MIKE?>>HEY, WHAT’S UP, LARRY? Larry: SO, MIKE, IT SOUNDS
LIKE JOHN KASICH IS TRYING TO SOUND INCLUSIVE. DO YOU THINK HE CAN APPEAL TO
THE BLACK VOTE?>>THE BLACK VOTE’S ALREADY
WRAPPED UP. IT’S TRUMP. (LAUGHTER)
>>Larry: WAIT, TRUMP? YEAH LARRY, THIS GUY IS ’90s
HIP-HOP, ALL DAY. MAN! (LAUGHTER)
THINK ABOUT IT. TRUMP LIKES GOLD. (LAUGHTER)
HE ROLLS DEEP. HE HAD HIS OWN VODKA. (LAUGHTER)
HE’S GOT HIS OWN COLOGNE. (LAUGHTER)
HE’S GOT TONS OF BABY MAMAS. (LAUGHTER)
HE’S HAD COURT APPEARANCES. AND HE’S DEALT WITH
BANKRUPTCIES. (LAUGHTER)
>>Larry: WOW. THAT IS AMAZING. WAIT. HOLD ON. SO YOU THINK BLACK PEOPLE LIKE
HIM BECAUSE HE SEEMS LIKE A ’90s RAPPER?>>’90s, EARLY AUGHTS,
WHATEVER. (LAUGHTER)
I MEAN, LOOK, DID YOU SEE WHEN HE PISSED OFF NEIL YOUNG BY
USING HIS MUSIC? THIS DUDE IS EVEN JACKING BEATS,
LARRY! (LAUGHTER)
>>Larry: JACKING BEATS? (APPLAUSE)
>>YES. Larry: ALL RIGHT. OKAY. I GUESS I CAN SEE WHY BLACK
PEOPLE WOULD VOTE FOR HIM. WAIT,
BUT ISN’T HE PISSING EVERYBODY OFF? MUSICIANS, MEXICANS, JOHN
McCAIN.>>EXACTLY. EXACTLY, LARRY. THE DUDE’S GOT BEEF WITH
EVERYBODY! (LAUGHTER)
HE’S LIKE THE 50 CENT OF THE REPUBLICAN PARTY. (LAUGHTER)
I’M TELLING YOU, MAN. ALL HE NEEDS IS TO GET SHOT NINE
TIMES, AND HE’S GOLDEN.>>Larry: HOLD ON. HOLD ON. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)>>I’M TELLING YOU. I’M TELLING YOU. (LAUGHTER)
I’M TELLING YOU, MAN. DID YOU CHECK OUT HIS BEEF WITH
LINDSEY GRAHAM?>>Larry: OH, YEAH. DIDN’T HE CALL TRUMP A JACKASS?>>UH-HUH. AND WHAT’D TRUMP DO?>>SO LINDSAY GRAHAM SAID,
PLEASE, PLEASE, WHATEVER YOU CAN DO. AND HE GAVE ME HIS NUMBER. I FOUND THE CARD, 202-228-[ BLEEP ]. SO I DON’T KNOW. GIVE IT A SHOT.>>HE GAVE OUT A UNITED STATES
SENATOR’S PRIVATE CELL PHONE NUMBER! THAT’S STRAIGHT-UP GANGSTA,
LARRY! (LAUGHTER)
>>I KNOW. Larry: YOU’RE RIGHT. CLASSIC ’90s HIP-HOP.>>YES! THAT’S BIGGIE/TUPAC STYLE. ALL TODAY. (LAUGHTER)
BACK WHEN [ BLEEP ] WAS REAL.>>Larry: SO HOW WILL THIS
AFFECT THE RACE IF TRUMP HAS THE BLACK VOTE LOCKED UP?>>AFFECT HIM? THE RACE IS OVER, BROTHER. (LAUGHTER)
>>Larry: WAIT. YOU THINK TRUMP’S GOING TO WIN
THE REPUBLICAN PRIMARY?>>YES! WHITE PEOPLE LOVE HIP-HOP TOO! AND REPUBLICANS LOVE IT EVEN
MORE COMING FROM A WHITE GUY. TRUMP IS THE MACKLEMORE
CANDIDATE. (LAUGHTER)
(APPLAUSE)>>Larry: OKAY. OPEN UP YOUR EYES. Larry: LET ME ASK YOU THIS,
MIKE. DOES THAT MEAN YOU THINK TRUMP
CAN BEAT HILLARY?>>YOU MEAN SUGE KNIGHT? (LAUGHTER)
LARRY, ARE YOU ASKING ME IF MACKLEMORE CAN BEAT SUGE KNIGHT? (LAUGHTER)
LARRY, ANSWER THAT YOURSELF.>>Larry: IT’S NOT REALLY WHAT I
SAID. BUT I THINK THE ANSWER’S NO.>>THERE YOU GO.

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36 thoughts on “The Nightly Show – Donald Trump’s Hip-Hop Ways – Mike Yard

  1. "We can't find anything bad to say about Mr. Trumps campaign, so we'll attack his character… And even that doesn't really work."

  2. Donald said he grew up poor… Oh yeah "I got a small loan of a million dollar!..plus my dads inheritance"… The guy does not know the definition of being poor and working hard just to survive. The biggest trump dump hand fed bigot, foul mouth boasting whale of free lunch washed by sweats of hard working man you skunk funk ancient dying lizard gieco yourself to hell where God damns you for life without insurance to cover your dull dusty head for Robbery of a fox pubic hair. Die sloooooow
    Until pain laughs with pleasure and nothing but bills and debt comes to your damn funeral. #Dieslowtrump

  3. Just want to say… No matter how heroic it would make you, no matter how many statues of you would be built, no matter how many hospitals and schools would be named after you: nobody assassinate Trump.

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