Great Oak Tree


>>GREETINGS WEARY TRAVELER.
>>THE GREAT OAK TREE. I CAN’T BELIEVE IT!
I FOUND YOU!>>YES, IT IS I, THE GREAT OAK TREE.
THE WISDOM OF TEN THOUSAND YEARS LIES WITHIN ME. IT IS MY DUTY TO IMPART WISDOM TO THE– OH!
WHAT ARE YOU DOING?>>I WAS CHOPPING INTO YOU SO I CAN THE WISDOM
THAT’S ON THE INSIDE.>>WHAT?
NO YOU FOOL. IT’S NOT LITERALLY INSIDE– OH STOP!
STOP YOU CRAZED LUMBERJACK. LISTEN!
I WILL JUST TELL YOU THE WISDOM THAT I HAVE OKAY THERE IS NO NEED– AH!
>>JUST LOOKING FOR MY CAT. IT’S KIND OF WINDY OUT.
>>OH, OH, MADAME. PLEASE.
>>MISTY?>>AH!
>>THAT PAPER WAS A RELATIVE.>>SORRY ABOUT THAT GREAT OAK TREE.
>>IT’S OKAY. MY WOUNDS SHALL HEAL.
OVER TIME– OW!>>HEY HAVE YOU FELLAS SEEN–>>AH!
>>YOU CAN JUST KEEP THAT I GUESS.>>AH!
>>TIME TO GET SOME SYRUP.>>WHAT?
NO. MADAME, DO NOT–
AH….>>THIS ISN’T A MAPLE TREE IS IT?
>>NO.>>JUST TRY TO…
YOU CAN JUST KEEP THAT.>>WOW!
LOOK A TREE!>>AH YOUTH.
I CANNOT STAY ANGRY WHEN CHILDREN ARE IN MY MIDST.
COME LITTLE ONE, CLIMB– OH! OW!
MOTHER EARTH!>>I CAN’T CLIMB THIS STUPID TREE!
>>WHAT? NO. OW! OW!
STOP HITTING ME WITH MY OWN BRANCHES YOU MONSTER.>>OH LOOK ANOTHER TREE!
>>GO HOME AND READ THE LORAX!>>OH.
THIS HAS BEEN THE WORST DAY OF MY– AH!
DID YOU JUST STAB ME?>>UH, MY GIRLFRIEND AND I WANTED TO CARVE
OUR NAMES INTO YOU.>>I AM TEN THOUSAND YEARS OLD;
A LIVING EMBODIMENT OF HISTORY AND WISDOM.
I AM NOT A FACEBOOK WALL.>>SORRY MISTER TREE.
WE JUST WANTED THE WORLD TO KNOW HOW MUCH WE LOVE EACH OTHER.
>>THEN SEND A GROUP TEXT.>>MAYBE WE SHOULD JUST GO.
>>OW!>>YOU CAN KEEP THAT.
>>YOU’RE SO NICE.>>OH.
>>ALL RIGHT, IT LOOKS LIKE WE’LL PUT THE PARKING LOT HERE.
>>WHAT? NO, PLEASE.
>>YOU’RE GOING TO HAVE TO GO THROUGH ME FIRST MAN.
>>FINALLY SOMEONE WHO– OH, WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME YOU BATHED?
OH, IT’S LIKE A DEAD MAN THREW UP AN OLD BAND-AID IN A HOT CAR.
OH! YOU WITH THE AX, FINISH THE JOB.
CUT ME DOWN.

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100 thoughts on “Great Oak Tree

  1. It's like a dead man threw up a bandaid in a hot car.
    Me: how do you know what that smells like?
    Me: nvm I don't wanna know

  2. When I see names carved into trees, I don't think it's cute. My thought process is "I wonder if they're still together. And why do all these people bring knives on dates?"

  3. It was a great sketch but, those leaves where not oak leaves. I don’t mean to sound ungrateful or disrespectful but that was one thing I noticed.

  4. WOW 😮 how long did it take you to the wisdom tree 🌲 cause a lot of find it really easy and wasn’t even trying to find it

  5. “Finally Simone who-oh, when was the last time you bathed. It’s like a dead man threw up and old band aid in a car. You with the axe finish the jobs.”

  6. He didn’t need to get lucky from not getting stapled, if it hit his face the stapler would’ve exploded because he is the tree, the myth, the legend. Scott Sterling!

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